The Guest Blogger surfaces

Editor's note: Courtney has delivered (with impressive alacrity) on her promise to submit a guest blog now that she's recovered from India and is no longer, in her words, "peeing out of my butt." Following a guest-blogging tradition begun in January by the famous haiku-poet Kimmy Nicholas Cahill, we hope Courtney's virtuosity here will inspire our future travel companions (listen up, Young family, Pearson family, Amy, Ali-Mac, Zanja, Jon, Erin, Kimmy (haiku sequel) and all the rest of y'all we're secretly hoping will join us) to keep the flame burning. Here goes:

Thank you, India

Only the words of Alanis Morrisette can capture my feelings about my intro to the developing world. India defies summarizing, but was fascinating, sobering, fun, stimulating, and peaceful all in one! There are truly too many stories to share here, so as humble guest blogger I'll stick to some of the many things India taught me:

1. India is not Los Angeles: Los Angeles is also not India. The two are very different places. Forgetting this distinction could lead to confusion or even dismay. For example, India will not provide toilet paper in the restroom, passable wine, public trash cans, brownies that contain chocolate, or lines on the road. On the other hand, don't look too hard in Los Angeles for a scrumptious 75-cent chana masala, strangers who invite you into their homes 15 minutes after meeting you, $5 hotel rooms where you simply sit up in bed for a spectacular view of snow-capped Himalayas, invigorating cold bucket showers, or negotiable prices at every turn ("What?! $2.85 for a latte? That's your best price? But I can go to Coffee Bean and get it for $2.65! Look,
I'll give you $2.50 right now and you've got a deal.")

2. The Fundamentals of a Flush: The toilet flush is by no means the mystifying mechanical innovation that all those levers and chains underneath the lid imply. If you find yourself in a pinch (or, in India) and desperately in need of a flush, but sorely lacking a functional toilet, never fear. Remind yourself that it's just a whole bunch of forcefully rushing water. That's it! A simple bucket of water poured in the bowl will do the trick (which is often on hand when you find yourself in the typical Indian no-flush situation).

3. Don't Try *Everything*: Yes, an adventurous spirit is a must. However, certain adventures are best avoided. For example: any uncooked food that has been chopped, washed, handled, or in any way shared the same space as local hands or water. . . the 50-yard radius around Rahul after a particularly chana-full day. . . negotiations that end in a vague "OK, OK" rather than a firm "yes" or "no". . . or the back row of the night bus, particularly when the malfunctioning seat in front of Meg reclines to full horizontal position.

4. Everything Works Out: When the best-laid plans seem about to fall apart, it all works out. It's uncanny. Your hired jeep breaks down, a generous man and his mother offer you a free lift 60 miles up the road. You sprint to the night train only to have it sit on the tracks for 2 hours, surely missing your connection, then lo and behold your next train patiently awaits at the other end. You curse the Lonely Planet for poor directions to a guesthouse at the moment its proprietors drive up and ask if you need a room. Maoists stir things up in Nepal, thus re-routing you to India and one of the most incredible cultural experiences you could find.

5. Meg and Rahul Are Rockstars: Yes, India makes for difficult travel (no signs in the train stations, no bus schedules to speak of, an ongoing battle with India-gestion, a somewhat alarming standard of hygiene) but Meg and Rahul are well-suited to life here. Their resilience, upbeat attitudes, silliness, boundless curiosity, and sense of adventure propelled us forward, reducing all that's hard about India travel to mere details and showing me a country that is culturally rich, eye-opening, and beautiful in so many ways. Yes folks, they are lovebirds in love, but they are also two of the best travel companions a girl could find. To anyone considering joining them this year: book your ticket now! (Editor's Note: We'll drink to that!) The crazy airport headgear is only the beginning... Thank you India, and thank you my friends!!

-- The Courtney